Lately I have come across a few articles that discuss whether or not our children are growing up too fast. The argument is, that because of the internet, children can access information about anything and everything, and they are exposed too and knowledgeable about things that we weren't until much later in life. While I can see how someone could make that argument, I don't buy it. There are a couple of articles, that you can access here and here, that discuss that the opposite might be true, our children may actually be more immature than we were.
My stepson is 17 years old. My husband had his son when he was 17 years old. When I look at stepson, there is no way in heck I could imagine him having a child. And it's not just because he "seems" so young. It's because he is young, naive, and immature. There are a lot of things he has no clue about because he has lived a pretty sheltered life. I just think back to when my husband and I were younger, and how much more responsibility we had. My husband was a latch-key kid (a term you never hear anymore), and I started babysitting when I was 10 years old. My 16 year old cousin doesn't even know how to change a diaper! I think that while kids are exposed to a lot of information, they are not given the real world experience that we gained as children.
I remember when I was young, around 7, I used to routinely walk two blocks to the supermarket to buy whatever ingredient my mom needed but didn't have. Milk, butter, flour, etc. I used to actually go door to door as a girlscout and sell cookies. These things are unheard of now-a-days. Because of the perceived threat of child-abductors, we have forced our children indoors, and now they are growing up without real world skills that prepare them for adulthood. When I drive past the rec center in my neighborhood, instead of being filled with kids playing football or baseball, it looks like a ghost town. Instead of kids playing roller hockey in the street, or riding their bikes, I see parents driving them to school (one block away) or arranging play dates, for 12 year olds!
Every parent has their own way of doing things, and at the end of the day you can only trust your own instinct in these matters. Part of the reason parents feel uncomfortable letting their children play outside is because we have not only forced our children inside, we ourselves have withdrawn ourselves, choosing to correspond with our friends via facebook, twitter, or text, rather than getting to know our nrighbors. Our parents never worried about letting us ride our bikes to our friends house because they knew exactly what route you were taking, and whos house you were passing on the way. If you were late for dinner, they would just call your friends parents, and every other parent in the nieghborhood to track you down.
I believe in being a "free-range parent" but in order to do that I will have to set up a network of parents that are willing to do the same thing. I'd like to be more active in my community, and get to know the people that live around me, as well as the teachers at the school in my neighborhood.
As a future educator, do you think you will be involved in your community? What is your view on free-range parenting?
I like how you point out the contrast between the increase in the amount of access children have to information and the decrease in freedom to be outside unsupervised. Sometimes, when I am driving home from our technology course I listen to Love Line, with Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew on this show repeatedly states how teens are desensitized because they have such a wide range of access to sexually explicit material. When I think about these two extremes I cannot help but think it is a dangerous combination. I think for my hypothetical child I would want some real world experience or "free range parenting" to balance out the amount of information. I was also a latch key kid, and sadly when I got to college I was on of the few of my friends who knew how to cook for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a household that was extremely conservative. As a teen, I did not experience many things other teenagers experienced because my parents were very strict. I do feel I had a very sheltered lifestyle, however I never lost the innocence as a child through my teenage years. I think many parents today do not realize that there is so much out there, and by not supervising your children and/or not having an open communication type of relationship you are hurting your child along with yourself. When I have my own children, I am not sure how I will be in regards to discipline. I do know, that I will fight for their innocence as long as I can.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completley we live in a society that has access to so much information we have driven ourselves inside with fear. We have the TV telling us on on daily basis about all the sickos and killers out there, we have the internet telling us about all the diseases we can catch, catastrophes that can happen. It is easy to understand that when the whole world gained access to the internet so did the sickos, perverts and killers. There is so much infomation out there about everything and everyone no wonder we have driven ourselves inside, because truth be told it is easier to know your paranoid and stay inside, than to be naive and get hurt.
ReplyDeleteGreat points in here. I think that maturity is the measure of "growing up" not just simple information acquisition. Therefore, I agree with you that many young people are sheltered in a way that doesn't benefit them but I think it rather creates a false confidence or false sense of maturity. Parenting is a tough job, but together we can raise young people who have a better idea of whats going on in the world!
ReplyDeleteTruly fascinating topic. Has information overload paralyzed our society? Young people today have access to so much information and yet very often don't get the context of how the information fits into society and community. Social skills are critical to a child's development and our society is losing social skills as a whole. We are all becoming more disconnected, it is no wonder our children are growing up disconnected as well.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Carlos about context. I was talking with my 10 year old son yesterday about songs that he learned with drug references--how I don't want him to learn those songs, because he doesn't know what they mean. This to the kid who won't let me drink a beer after his DARE indoctrination. And don't even get me started on the swearing, which can be accessed on YouTube to get around the bleeping on the airwaves.
ReplyDeleteHowever, these are all teaching (parenting) opportunities to pass on core values. My sons may think I am just imposing my will, but I know that at least they know where I stand. Children are not growing up in an isolated bubble, and I welcome the challenge of freedom of information...
I agree that kids are way too sheltered thanks to the paranoia caused by the media. Not only are kids not developing social skills, they are missing out on some of the most fun parts about being a kid. Last school year I had to teach a group of fourth through sixth graders how to make a spitball. I know a lot of kids who have their day planned from the time they get up to the time they get out of bed and they don't have any time where they don't have to be anywhere and they can just go outside and be a kid. I think kids need the opportunity to explore, to hurt themselves (not go to the hospital hurt themself, but "Oh crap that hurt" get up and walk it off hurt themself), and have fun away from technology. The dependence of kids on the internet for entertainment has gotten to the point where even when they aren't on the internet they pretend they are. A few of my kids last year started fake websites on pieces of paper and went around asking people to "friend" their site. I find it hard to believe that it's significantly more dangerous now for kids to be outside unsupervised than it was for my generation, and kids need that time with their peers to figure things out on their own.
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